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Rainy Halloween For Dummies!

Your complete guide on how to make your botched Halloween not suck!

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Rachel Goeppner

Rachel Goeppner

Sean Pruett-Jones, Staff Reporter

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So, Halloween sure did come and go, huh? That magical time of year where weird kids in school can wear their favorite costumes in school without fear of judgement; where grade-school children can go bonkers with their Halloween candy, their hard-earned treats; where families can decorate the living heck out of their house; where couples can feel good about watching horror movies at midnight and scare themselves silly; where people can play pranks to try and scare the heebie-jeebies out of their friends. Sounds great, huh?

Oh, wait. It was raining. Like, a lot.

Yup. I know that the rain didn’t stop all that many kids from going trick or treating, but I do know that it certainly must have dampened (hah, I made a pun) some kids’ nights, and I also know some people personally that did skip out on trick r’ treating because of the rain. Frankly, I didn’t mind much because I wasn’t planning to go out anyway. Instead, I spent the night with root beer, a new haircut, and Assassin’s Creed IV, and giving the odd trick or treater some candy. Not that much, though – we only heard the doorbell five times.

Five times in the whole night.

So, this got me to thinking that, if I was anyone else, how would I spend this night? This would-be awesome night with sugar-highs and candy wrappers everywhere? .

1 – Scare any Trick Or Treaters.

As awesome as it would be, it probably wouldn’t go too well if you got a fake corpse and threw it off the roof into the path of a few toddlers. So, you may have to take a sarcastic approach, like instead of giving them candy, you give them turnips and onions, or get very creative with your scaring. Such as maybe, when someone rings the doorbell, you run out the back door, around the house, and then jump at them with a wolf man outfit before they notice. Fashion a costume that has a large and hollow belly, fill it with candy, and then when they come, have them take the candy out of your exploded stomach.

2 – Pork Out.

After Halloween has ended, you may either have about 7/10 of a candy bar left, or a monumental skyscraper of candy bars in all its glory. At a time like that, you have to ask yourself: “Oh me, oh my, what a dreadful little pickle I’ve waltzed on into, whatever shall I doooooo?” Well, you can either be a lame-o and throw it all away, sell it, give it to your friends, etc… or, you can enjoy the delicious candy you bought with your own hard earned money. Indulge yourself. It’s Hallo-flippin-ween.

3 – Scary Movies. Lots and lots of scary movies.

Now, I don’t mean the scary movie series, the one with Anna Faris, which I’ll admit is kinda funny. I mean the good stuff. The Mist, Silent Hill, The Thing, The Pact, Grave Encounters, maybe a Paranormal Activity or two… but make sure that the movie you pick is good. Last horror flick I saw was V/H/S at about two in the morning on a Saturday night – it was pretty dumb. I mean, it had its moments, but for the most part I was just scratching my head and laughing at the stupid and clichéd characters. So avoid that. Use your Halloween wisely and give yourself nightmares. Wake up your family members with your screams. If you watch it with your significant other, sit on the other end of the couch so you have nothing to hide yourself behind.   Otherwise, it’s no fun, is it?

4 – Dance Party.

I don’t think this one needs much of an explanation.

5 – The Internet!

Maybe with this time, you can go onto Google and spend a little while researching what the fox really does say. Nerds out there have Minecraft and Team Fortress, and then the rest of the world has facebook and fantasy football.  Youtube, Twitter, cute cat photos, iCarly episodes, correcting people’s grammar on blogs… the Internet is a lovely place for all sorts of distractions from a rainy Halloween.

And, finally…

6 – Self pity.

This one goes along with number one – scaring people.  This can manifest itself in any sort of ways. There’s the plain and simple sitting in a corner, and perhaps you can go and eat your sadness. Maybe you’ll try to be productive and do homework, but keep getting sad and distracted, or one of my personal favorites – call EVERYONE on your contacts list. However, I think that due to how Halloween-y Halloween is supposed to be, there’s only one sensible way to do this: stand at the window, one hand against the glass, and look longingly outside. I once did this out of boredom without really realizing it, and you will get some fun looks from people walking by. It helps if you create some cool lighting effects by turning on certain lights in the house to give you some shadow-effects.

So. There you have it. Hopefully this will make the next time Halloween is botched slightly more enjoyable and fantastical.

 

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Free of Bull, Full of Bulldogs
Rainy Halloween For Dummies!