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The mesmerizing and astringent effects of the monumental Taco Bell breakfast

Zach Hundrieser, Staff Reporter

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As a nation, we have been introduced to many advances in life over the course of our history. There have been many great inventions such as the computer, the telephone, and the automobile. We have grown politically, and have chosen leaders who would go on to do many wonderful things that have made our nation what it is today.

But on March 27, we were introduced to a creation that had the potential to possibly be the greatest thing ever in the history of the United States, and maybe even the world. The world of breakfast food that is.

Taco Bell’s Waffle Taco.

Within the past couple of years, Taco Bell has been power-housing the fast food industry with innovative, creative, and delicious food that will never be forgotten. These include the XXL Grilled Stuft Burrito, the Volcano Menu, and of course the infamous Dorito Locos Tacos. As a regular Taco Bell goer, I have been overjoyed with these food items. The Dorito Locos Tacos have been a staple part of my diet, along with the Baja Blast and the Nacho Bell Grande. Ever since these Waffle Tacos have been announced, I have been overjoyed and have been anticipating the date of March 27. It wasn’t until the morning of April 3 that I got my hands on the holy grail of Taco Bell menu items.

My nutritious Taco Bell breakfast began with a hash brown.  It trumped McDonald’s hash brown in size, a big plus for Taco Bell.  I did notice that it was not as oil as McDonald’s hash browns.  Another point for Taco Bell.  While the two hash browns essentially tasted the same, Taco bell won the round.  Kudos, guys, kudos.

Then I tried the breakfast burrito.  I ordered mine with bacon instead of sausage or steak, since bacon seems more breakfast-like.  Who doesn’t love bacon?  It was almost as good as Krispy Kreme doughnuts (see related story).  Let me tell you, I have had some pretty dope breakfast burritos, but this one takes the cake.  This is the Jesus of breakfast burritos.  If this burrito was a movie, it would be better than Titanic.  If I could reverse time, I would eat this over and over again for the first time.

How was it cooked?  Since Taco Bell employees did not cook the bacon to a crisp, the burrito still sustained its soft texture, not leaving an overwhelming crunch.  The combination of scrambled eggs and cheese worked together perfectly.  If I could grade this burrito as a teacher would grade a prepubescent, hormone-enraged teenager, I would give it an “A.”

Last but not least, I sampled the now infamous Waffle Taco.  Drumroll, please.

My overall opinion of the Waffle Taco is that it was… alright.  If I had to give it a grade, it would be a B-.  I had high expectations for it, to be honest, so that is why the grade feels low.  The waffle was cooked perfectly, as were the eggs, and the bacon I ordered on it was alright.  Everything was fine, but the size was a problem.

They say that size does not matter, but in this case, it does.  It is literally the size of a taco.  That’s fine – they marketed it as a taco – but the expectation was that it would be a good size.  It isn’t.  The taco was also on the dry side.  My dining companion (aka my mother) informed me that her waffle taco tasted bland.  Adding syrup did seem to fix the problem.  This might sound gross, but consider the McGriddle.  Take inspiration from that.  If Taco Bell made their new creation less dry, added syrup, and increased the size, they could rule the fast food breakfast industry.

I would give my overall breakfast a B+.

And, in case you are wondering, I did wash it all down with a Baja Blast.

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Free of Bull, Full of Bulldogs
The mesmerizing and astringent effects of the monumental Taco Bell breakfast