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Lunchables, a pizza blast to the past

Behold the holy grail of nostalgia food:  the lunchable.

Behold the holy grail of nostalgia food: the lunchable.

Zach Hundrieser, Lifestyles Reporter

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One of the fondest memories I have as a child was taunting the kids in my kindergarten class who brought soggy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with my awesome Pizza Lunchables. In case you are not familiar with Lunchables, they are one of the best and most awesome lunch alternatives you can buy.

Made by Kraft Foods, they have been the staple diet for many children since 1988. They come in many different varieties, ranging from mini-hot dogs to nachos. What makes them special, however, is that you put the food together by yourself. Yes, you put the mustard on the hot dogs, and you put the sauce and cheese on the little pizzas.

It is magical.

Also, each Lunchable comes with a little itty bitty candy bar, and a Caprisun. By the way, Caprisuns are pretty awesome too. But that’s an entirely different entity on its own.

Ever since I can remember, I devoured and destroyed Lunchables. I was this little twig of a child, and I would wolf down like five of these things. Then once I hit school and started socializing with other children, they looked up to me during lunch. I was the king of lunch with my Lunchables, but sadly, all great things come to an end. Once I switched schools and hit first grade, I started receiving “hot lunch.”

To give you a background on hot lunch, it was basically a frozen dinner, except it was never actually hot and it came with possibly the worst sides of all time. How can you serve nachos with apple sauce? The two don’t mix. I eventually weened myself off Lunchables while surviving off of raw hot dogs and cold pizza. My head would eventually forget about Lunchables, but a fire still lingered in my heart.

Years later, that fire in my heart sparked yet again. I was walking around the local supermarket, wandering aimlessly for anything that looked delicious. It was then I stumbled upon a lost friend that made my eyes widen and mouth drool. In case you haven’t figured it out, I saw the Lunchables.

As soon as I got home, I didn’t even bother to put other groceries away as I swiftly pounced upon the bag full of Pizza Lunchables, and the Mini Hot Dog Lunchables. On my table they went, as I tore apart the packaging. A tear gently and softly streamed down my cheek, as I looked at this processed do it yourself pizza.

Now, you are probably asking yourself  “Zach, did the Lunchables still taste the same after all these years?” I have only got one word, and one word only to answer your question.

Yes.

As soon as I took that first bite of my awesome and delicious Lunchable pizza, it was like meeting an old friend at an airport on a stormy night. I moaned aloud when I took that first bite, as I realized the old familiar taste had not gone away. The way the cold cheese interacts with the processed pepperoni and pizza sauce will never be topped by any other lunch alternative. It has a distinct taste that you will never forget, kind of like how you never forget the smell of Grandma’s fresh oven-baked cookies.

The best part about this whole experience, was the nostalgia factor. When I rediscovered Lunchables, it was almost like my mindset was that of a little kid. I felt like I was six years old again, when I didn’t have to worry about the things I do now. I felt like I could go throw the pigskin in the backyard with Pop, or whatever the six year old me did. But feeling that feeling I haven’t felt in a long time was something really remarkable.

Now that I rediscovered Lunchables, I intend on consistently purchasing them again. In a way, it goes to show that the food you eat, really affects your mental health. In my case it affects my mind positively. To those naysayers that say nay to Lunchables, I say go eat your other lunch alternatives. To those that haven’t ever had a Lunchable however, I say get down to the store and pick up a Pizza Lunchable. You’re either with Lunchables, or against them.

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Free of Bull, Full of Bulldogs
Lunchables, a pizza blast to the past