This individual is almost surely definitely NOT twenty-seven beavers in a trenchcoat, but is a normal, human staff reporter for the Clarion. Their hobbies do NOT include activities such as eating wood, building dams, and eating flora, as human beings do not participate in these activities commonly, at least according to our non-beaver research. They instead do human person activities, such as eating non-wood, and having thumbs on the inner side of their hands.

To contact these NOT beavers, please email [email protected]