Clarion defeats QWOP… kind of

The game in action.


The game in action.

Kyle Platt, Staff Reporter

QWOP is the kind of game that makes you want to grab a cup of coffee, sit down at your computer, and play…and then throw your coffee across the room out of rage.

The basis of QWOP is that you are an athlete representing your small home country in the Olympics. You are trying to run the 100 meter race, but there has not been enough funding to teach you how to run properly.

The player uses the Q and W keys to control the thighs of the runner, and the O and P keys to control the calves. Ideally, you want to use the W and O keys and the Q and P keys at the same time, alternating as your feet touch the ground. As you could imagine, it’s pretty hard to master. However, there are people that have done it. I am not one of them.

The game actually runs really well for a copy-paste format. It’s not exactly hidden either— big gamers such as PewDiePie and Markiplier have played the game, in front of millions of people. 

Having found myself with more time than usual, I have been addicted to trying to beat the game. In order to win, you have to reach 100 meters. I have looked up the World Record, and Googled tips on how to win. I beat it once, but it was cheating in way. I went on my knees so I had a lower center of gravity and just wobbled to the finish line.

 I’m on my way to finishing with no short cuts though. I have got the secret figured out, I just need to master it. If you can get it, good for you. If you can not, do not throw your coffee too hard.