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APRIL FOOLS: Eco Club powers RB on rainbows and happy thoughts

Photo by Rusiecki; Illustration by Mancoff

Brenden Kaminski, Staff Reporter

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While some have searched for solutions to RB’s budget crisis, Eco Club believes it has the answers.Amidst all of the darkness comes a shining light: Eco Club believes it can power the school with nothing but rainbows and happiness!

You heard that right. Club co-sponsor Dave Monti came up with the idea after watching all the wonderful students skipping through the halls in school. He plans on using the sun’s rays shining off of the bright teeth of the smiling children. On a daily basis, Monti will take a group of children into a room filled with a heat cell to catch heat. The walls are made of the clear glass that maximizes sunlight, and just sends the smiling children into the room to do the rest of the work.

Along with the smiling children, Monti also plans to use rainbows.

“That one’s top secret,” Monti said with a grin when asked how he plans to use rainbows for energy. “But it is more powerful than ten Hoover dams.”

The plans don’t stop there. “We will create so much electricity,” said Monti, “that we could supply Riverside and Brookfield.”I find that incredible “We will create so much electricity that we could supply Riverside, and Brookfield.

In the past eco club has tried using old people walking on giant hamster wheels, having hundreds of people rubbing their socks on rugs and touching batteries, rewiring homes to steal their electricity, and harvesting dreams from sleeping children in class.

Though all of these ideas have failed before, Monti seemed confident that this idea was the best and had the highest chance of success.

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Free of Bull, Full of Bulldogs
APRIL FOOLS: Eco Club powers RB on rainbows and happy thoughts