Free of Bull, Full of Bulldogs

Clarion

2016-2017 Staff

Vivian Marina Piña

Public Relations Editor

Vivian Marina Piña started out as a farmboy on Tatooine. She grew up on a moisture farm with her Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen. Her life changed forever when her uncle purchased two droids that carried plans to the Imperial Death Sta...

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Galen Alaks

Co Editor-in-Chief

Baked Alaksa 1 cup of dorkiness Two cups of mismatched socks 1/2 cup of editor-in-chief Twelve cups of spaghetti A pinch of anxiety Four tablepoons of plaid One pair of glasses Two tablespoons of nerdiness Heck,...

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Nick Rogoz

Co Editor-in-Chief

After winning the World Polo Championship for the 25th straight year, Nick had to give up being the Michael Jordan of the polo world after he and his horse broke a combined 10,756 bones in a freak skiing accident. Devastated, Ni...

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Isabel Hughes

Story Editor

Isabel Hughes is a very hard to find person. She is usually out on assignment doing something like scaling the walls of the North Korean and Cuban embassies to get top secret information for her articles. If not, then she is p...

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Lauren Lambros

Story Editor

Lauren Lambros is not only a Freshman at RB, but the President of the United States. As soon as the last bell rings, it’s off to the White House for Lambros; the country cannot run itself. When Congress has a predicament at o...

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Michael Fanta

Media Editor

Before you see Michael’s bio, you will see his terrible picture.  Why are all of his pictures so bad?  Who knows?   The camera gods are never kind to him... but that’s not what you came for.  You came to read his bio...

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Marc Helgeson

Sponsor

Mr. Helgeson enjoys his time at RB so much that he sometimes finds himself visiting the school even on days when classes are not in session. He lets himself in, goes to his classroom, sits at his desk, and just kind of exists...

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Elizabeth Amaya

Staff Reporter

Hey upper East-Siders, Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of RB´s elite. Here’s the scoop on Elizabeth Amaya: she’s back at the school for her sophomore year and is one of the smallest, fie...

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Manny Ardon

Staff Reporter

Emanuel Ardon is not your average teenager. He is a secret Mexican wrestler every Thursday night (Macho Macho Martinez V), as he manages to keep his school life and his secret identity under check and do all of it like a champio...

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Kenton Baer

Staff Reporter

Kenton is a freshman at RBHS and is a proud young Bulldog who carries Nutella by day, and loves to play lacrosse by night. He also has a deep hatred for Dylan Drews, which is fine. He plays tennis and was voted best lacrosse...

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Carlee Battistoni

Staff Reporter

By day, Carlee Battistoni is an RBHS Sophomore. By night, she drives home in her matte black Range Rover to North Carolina and Tree Hill in order to be with her husband, Nathan Scott. Most of her free time she is either watching...

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Eduardo Bobe

Staff Reporter

Eduardo is not just an ordinary sophomore that goes to RB. Well, this will be his first year on Clarion, so maybe. Anyways, he is an expert on computer science/physics and can easily fix your computer so you can get back to your...

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Jaylyn Bravo

Staff Reporter

Jaylyn is usually eating, sleeping, or playing softball. She's played not just all around the world, but better yet, she's played on every planet. Her favorite subject is probably lunch because she gets to eat. When she is not...

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Tatum Bruno

Staff Reporter

Tatum Bruno is currently writing a strongly-worded email to her florist. When she is not complaining about the pressures of being a fairy she can be found in the pool, attempting to turn princes into frogs with her assistant T...

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Panipak Bumrungkwaen

Staff Reporter

Panipak (also known as Modear) is a freshman journalist at RB. Born in a small, conservative town in Thailand, she moved to Brookfield at the age of seven. Religion was never her favorite topic to talk about, based on her experience...

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Alex Burton

Staff Reporter

Alex Burton likes food and dogs. Food makes her extremely happy, so she eats it a lot. Mainly mac 'n cheese. She doesn’t discriminate against any type of mac 'n cheese. She likes all types of noodles: elbow macaroni, shells...

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Jillian Dahms

Staff Reporter

Jillian Dahms, owner of four Range Rovers and two mansions. While Jillian is at her mansion in California she is either driving her Range Rover along the coasts of the beaches or shopping down Rodeo Drive. If she's not in California,...

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Dylan Drews

Staff Reporter

Yeah, everyone knows he's a beast. From the East, rising up because he came from the least. Yeah, you know his shoes aren't creased. He spits bars while driving his foreign car. You can basically consider him a superstar. The f...

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Daniel Fosselman

Staff Reporter

Daniel Fosselman isn’t very well known by the major population despite his accomplishments. He’s made contact with an alien species of rock people, fought in the Meme Wars of June/July/August 2016 as a covert ops agent responsible...

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Emily Gately

Staff Reporter

Emily can be an adjective used to describe someone who is artistic, energetic, and overall a better cat than most people will ever be. Emily can also be used to describe someone who is loud and has an odd hair color as well a...

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Zach Georgopoulos

Staff Reporter

Hi, My name is Zachary Georgopoulos and I am a senior at RB. This is my first and only year in Clarion. I am apart of the schools soccer and volleyball team. I use to play Hockey, Basketball, Baseball, Australian football, and...

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Gabby Gilhooley

Staff Reporter

Gabby Gilhooley is a  junior at RBHS. She runs track at and  is in a lot of clubs like Best Buddies, AST and Student Association. She enjoys shopping, eating, and watching "One Tree Hill."  Gabby hopes one day to live in California and...

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Emilia Gonzalez

Staff Reporter

Her real name is Phoebe Buffay. If she is across the room, and her shoulder is too far to tap, feel free to reach Emilia at [email protected]

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Joy Greco

Staff Reporter

There is no doubt that Joy Greco, a Sophomore at RBHS, is a pretty decent human being. Although she spends a lot of her free time writing stories for the RB Clarion, she is very busy saving lives as a world-renowned surgeon al...

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Alexis Gurschke

Staff Reporter

The last four years have been extremely busy for Alexis. From being an Olympic gold medalist to designing the iPhone 7, she barely had any time to do what she really loved. Alexis trained long and hard for the 2016 Rio Olymp...

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Kellie Halvey

Staff Reporter

Kellie Halvey is a very busy person. You'll never catch her in one place for a very long time. She works as the Assistant to the Regional Manager at Dunder Mifflin Incorporated Paper Company, Scranton, Pennsylvania. When she is not b...

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Randall Haywood

Staff Reporter

Randall Haywood, the first man to land on Mars and meet the first alien there.  He went back to Earth and pursued his dream job of becoming a race car driver.  All of his friends and family remember his name because of the movie...

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Madison Heninger

Staff Reporter

Madi Heninger may seem like a normal freshman, but she’s actually a fairy. Instead of blood, she has strawberry tea running through her veins. Some of her hobbies include reciting random passages from Shakespeare, painting,...

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Destiny Herrera

Staff Reporter

Roses are red, violets are blue, Destiny Herrera loves Blink-182. She looks barely alive, and listens to the 1975. Just a few of her many favorite words are illuminated, iridescent and Chunky Monkey ice cream. Holographic. Athleti...

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Kenna Howorth

Staff Reporter

Kenna Howorth is world renowned as the best quesadilla maker on the Tony’s Mexican Grill staff. When she’s not sneaking abacuses (abaci??) into classrooms or panicking at local discos, she is on strict business of founding ...

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Elizabeth Johnston

Staff Reporter

Elizabeth Johnston lives in Paris, France, working as a master instructor at the Paris Opera Ballet. When she is not teaching or writing for Clarion, she is working part-time at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company under the supervision...

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Madelyn Jones

Staff Reporter

Madelyn Jones is an adventurer. She loves traveling to the frigid tundra every year, and communicating with the whales off the coast of Europe. At one moment Madelyn could be in class, silently typing a report, and then yelli...

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Jack Jurgens

Staff Reporter

Jack Jurgens (pictured on the side) is the notorious Kodak Black's personal assistant. He tunes in every Monday to watch WWE Raw and his favorite superstar Juan Curios Quirote. He is an avid reader of the Junie B. Jones novel ser...

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Mary Kober

Staff Reporter

Here’s some strange biographical information about a girl named Mary Kober who lives in a house made of black roses with thorns: inside her house she loves to cook, but nothing ordinary. She cooks the souls of all the forgotten ...

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Rahim Kouferidji

Staff Reporter

Rahim "The Dream" Kouferidji is a freshman at Riverside-Brookfield High School. Although he's only a freshman, he's a 36-time Olympic Gold medalist (and just between you and me, the reason Bolt and Phelps are retiring). The l...

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Thomas Kraus

Staff Reporter

Thomas Kraus is a writer for RB Clarion, but he is also a time traveler from the 1940s. He has gone through various time periods and different dimensions. The events that he has witnessed have inspired him to write many articles and ...

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Anthony Landahl

Story Editor

The RZA once said, “Knowledge is knowing. Wisdom is doing,” and this year Anthony is in his first year of Clarion. Anthony was a corn-hole enthusiast, Seattle fish merchant, and an esteemed mother of three. But as a sauc...

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Armando Marmolejo

Staff Reporter

Armando "Man of Steel" Marmolejo has traveled all over the Milky Way Galaxy. He was born on Mars, which makes him the first man on Mars. Armando has also traveled all over the world and is fluent in about every language there...

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Evan Moyer

Staff Reporter

Evan W. Moyer has mastered the art of shredding to a t. By day a student at Riverside Brookefield high school, by night, plays with some of the biggest bands and performers (dead or alive) ever: Blizzard of Oz (a.k.a Ozzy Osbo...

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Nate Navarro

Staff Reporter

Nate is lowkey the world's biggest savage and isn’t even in Clarion. He just wanted to have a bio about himself but keep it on the low. He has no Netflix account so he just chills out at his house.  Nate really likes fruit, but ...

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Nicolette O'Keefe

Staff Reporter

Yep, she may look normal. But deep down inside - way deep down - she’s just weird. That is why she is now retiring from being a volunteer stunt double for Norman Reedus in Season 7 of AMC’s “The Walking Dead,” after a...

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Hailey Paisker

Staff Reporter

Hailey Paisker is a junior at RBHS. She never backs down from a challenge. In Hailey’s free time, she walks elderly ladies across the street, rescues cats out of trees, works in a soup kitchen, and regularly donates to the R...

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Kyle Platt

Staff Reporter

Kyle Platt is not your average freshman. He’s an avid collector of mongoose posters. On Saturdays, he goes downtown to stand in the middle of the street and look at cars’ tires, and on Sundays, he mysteriously wakes up in the...

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Ariana Porras

Staff Reporter

Ariana Porras may seem like an abnormal, lazy, inactive, dull, idle-minded, chip-eating, Netflix-watching junior at RBHS, but in reality, she is an Olympic champion. She competed and won the bronze medal for Individualized Synchr...

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Kassie Ramirez

Staff Reporter

Kassie is sometimes a fun and helpful person... okay, just kidding, she is very rarely those things. She spends most of her day screaming at children about who-knows-what? and always has an odd face on. Kassie loves makeup and...

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Olivia Rogoz

Staff Reporter

When Olivia isn’t co-writing Tim Burton’s next movie and running a company that makes clothes for dogs only, she’s a staff member at Clarion and a sophomore here at RBHS. Not only that, but she is the only person to ever ...

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Sadiel Sanchez

Staff Reporter

 Apart from being on the Clarion team, Sadiel works as an undercover spy for Clarion, looking for top stories. He is on top of everything that happens at RB and never misses a thing. His stories are published as fast as ligh...

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Keeley Scalise

Staff Reporter

Keeley Scalise may look like your typical, gorgeous RB sophomore, but trust me, that is not what she actually looks like. Last year, Keeley had facial reconstruction surgery, and even changed her name! She used to be named Jenn...

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Chynna Simon

Staff Reporter

Chynna Simon is very social if you seem worthy. If you get to know her, she can be very funny and enthusiastic. She acts weird around her friends, which includes being loud and making bad puns. She stands up for everyone. She...

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Haley Skiera

Staff Reporter

Haley Skiera loves golden retrievers, pitbulls, Boston terriers, chihuahuas, dachshunds, German shepherds, Australian cattle dogs, huskies, corgis, boxers, greyhound, bull mastiffs, pugs, pomeranians, bloodhounds, basenjis, coonhoun...

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Lexi Soto

Staff Reporter

Lexi Soto loves to skydive, fight off ninjas, and she enjoys taxidermy. In her spare time she volunteers at Seattle Grace Hospital, with her friends McDreamy and McSteamy. Her part-time volunteer work revolves around doing charts...

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Allie Welsh

Staff Reporter

Allie Welsh: neurosurgeon at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital. Her hobbies include making screamo music and staying underwater for longer than a minute. When she isn’t busy reenacting the Stars Wars series with Mr. Helgeson, Allie...

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Jessica Whigam

Staff reporter

Jessie Whigam, best friend of Christina Yang, wife of Derek Shepherd, and the nation's best general surgeon (after 3:05 of course). During the hours of 7:30-3:05, Jessie goes to school at Riverside Brookfield as a sophomore. Jessie...

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Shannon Wrzesinski

Staff Reporter

She's beauty and she's grace. She’s Ms. United States. Shannon is usually covered in glitter and always carries some around in case of emergency. She’s about as subtle as a tsunami. She is originally from Twin Peaks, Washington, wh...

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Sydney Sandrick

Staff Reporter

Sydney Sandrick is a sophomore at RBHS, and she is starting Clarion this year. On weekdays, Sydney is an everyday student, but after 3pm she goes to work at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. Sydney was inspired to join Clarion by...

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Cathy Yuen

Staff Reporter

Cathy Yuen is an addict of the television show "Arthur." She spends her free time doing nothing, though she is a very active and outgoing person. This is her first year joining Clarion and she is excited to begin. If you have...

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Free of Bull, Full of Bulldogs
Staff